Head Underwater

What a month (and some change - I've been working on this post for a while and time got away from me). I feel, at the same, completely unaware of what's happening in the outside world and far too aware of what's happening in the outside world. Nothing feels real and everything feels far too real. You could re-write "We Didn't Start the Fire" and just include things that have happened since the last time I updated this blog, and still have a full song.

Between the overload of "news", and personal changes, I feel like my head has been underwater for days. I'm still settling in at the new job and navigating new processes, people, and schedules. I'm rebuilding my life after a period of unemployment and finding my freedom and my joy again. It's a lot to create space for. I'm both happy and worn out.

A few months ago, I did a panel at a bookstore for fantasy writers and I kinda felt like a fraud, because I didn’t have any published works to share. I got a hair up my ass about it and started writing and submitting some short stories to some different zines and anthologies, including an upcoming all black fantasy anthology. I got my acceptance in my inbox a few weeks ago, “Your unique voice and storytelling have captivated us (and made some of us shed some tears), and we are excited to have you as part of this literary journey.” I submitted another story to a zine last week.

I also started a new TTRPG actual play last month as the producer/storyteller. It's a fun one. I'm making it happen. My therapist reminded me, during our last session, that I never have to find a seat at the table, because I build the tables. I make things happen in my life.

And sometimes I look cute while I'm going that - onto the outfits!

OUTFIT 1 - 
Thursday's are my last day in office each week - so I treat them even more casual than usual. This week was yoga pants and a faux-denim Stranger Things hoodie. I love licensed product and this hoodie reminds me of something I would have done in igh school - drawn on a denim jacket with marker and covered it with patches and pissed my mom all the way off. I think there's nothing more classic than blue denim, and it shows up A LOT in my wardrobe, even with me being goth.

OUTFIT 2 - This jacket! My mom had the exact same jacket when I was kid and would NEVER let me wear it. She won't give it to me now, so I thrifted the exact same jacket a few years ago and it's one of my most prized items. I think if you're doing a large silhouette on part of your body, you've got to play with shape in other ways to keep your body from getting lost or looking like you're hiding. This jacket is a larger 90s bomber, and these pants are a wide harem, so I paired them with a cropped corset inspired tank, to give my waist the credit it deserves. I also really love this yellow hat and it matches back to the gold in the design on my jacket.

OUTFIT 3 - This one is an ode to early 2000's me. I was the queen of the stripe. I still love a good stripe now. Grey wide legged jeans, grey hat. It's a modern version of the me from way back when.

OUTFIT 4 - I noticed these oxblood flares were the same color as my clogs and nothing else mattered to me. I love a crop top, and this wide black long sleeve is no exception. Again, playing with shapes so my actual body doesn't get lost.

OUTFIT 5 - There's something about this outfit to me that feels like it encapsulates my personality, even though it was mostly a pursuit of coziness for me, because it was supposed to rain that day. My beloved, oversized, off the shoulder black sweater, leggings, high socks, and my high Doc Martens. Fun fact about these Docs - I've owned them for nearly 20 years.

OUTFIT 6 - This outfit was the day I returned to work after a week in the desert at Neotropolis. Comfort was key - I hadn't even begun to decompress from the LARP/Festival. I bought these jeans on a lark when wider legs started to trend again, and they were super cheap, but fit me like a dream. This longline leopard cardi was a clearance find. The black corset tank makes a return. Lastly, I LOVE Steve Madden - especially his sneakers that look kinda like Nikes. A friend thrifted these and didn't want them, so I took them off of their hands.

OUTFIT 7 - This black long sleeve babydoll dress was a Target find pre-pandemic. It's a heavier weight fabric that is perfect for a chilly day. We already know how I feel about tights and Docs. My socks unintentionally matched my freshly dyed pink ends.

OUTFIT 8 - Casual Thursday. Yoga pants, tank, denim shrug.

OUTFIT 9 - Another babydoll! Love the plaid on this one, it reminds me of a 90s grunge. BTW - I don't want to hear another single word about Olivia Rodrigo and her styling. She's doing GREAT.

OUTFIT 10 - It was another colder day. I effing love overalls. I feel like leopard overalls were everywhere last summer, and I was definitely part of the problem.

OUTFIT 11 - If you don't know - I am a Disney adult. Part of my obsession is thrifting vintage (mostly 90s) Disney jackets, so I can wear them to the parks. This bomber is my FAVORITE. I also riffed off of OUTFIT 2 to craft this look, since it worked so well before. It worked here to!! When you find something that works, keep doing it!

I'm still working on the novel and some updates for paid subscribers. Let's all try to keep our heads above water.