2011

It's summer of 2012. Frank Ocean's Channel Orange has just dropped. My fruit stand fam and I are obsessed. It's on repeat every single day in the back room. Four years later and we're still down with each other and still Frank Ocean obsessed. Frank Ocean was asked to explain his current situation to his past self. And then my fruit stand fam started doing it. And it's been a trip. It makes you truly see how far you've come. It's funny to have watched each other glo' up, and to take that ride again.

So, without further ado...

Damn, Jordan of '11. You just started working at Apple a few months ago. You start grad school in a few weeks. A lot happens in between where you are then and who I am today. You love your job at Apple. You definitely get promoted to FRS, and before Christmas. It's a challenge, but you don't back down. I don't know how you do it, but you work a full time job (yeah, you get promoted to full time too), while taking a full load of grad school classes and you don't even have a car, so you're riding the bus every day. That doesn't last. You learn how to drive and get your license (it takes a few tries)! And you buy a brand new car without any help from anyone! That guy likes you back. You're going to find out that most of them do, they're just even more awkward than you are. I'm not going to tell you what happens with him, you just have to live it. Enjoy it. You finish grad school with honors (you have one shitty semester, but that's not notated on your degree so no one cares). Working at Apple helps you get over a lot of your shyness and you start singing in front of people more often. You even get a keytar! (It's a graduation present). You learn how to ride a bike AND how to swim, all during the same summer. You even get a little fitness obsessed. You have a gym membership. Weird, right? You drop a few dress sizes and can do ten pull ups at your strongest. You go, girl! You grow up a lot. A LOT. Lots of your friends get married and have babies. It's pretty cool. You aren't and you don't...yet. The people you meet at Apple are going to be some of the best people you've ever met; lifelong friends. You learn a lot about yourself, and relationships.  You have the coolest group of girlfriends you cosplay with! You're the healthiest you've ever been; mentally, emotionally, and physically. Turning 25 isn't as scary as you make it out to be. In fact, at 28 you're the best you've ever been. You leave Apple after four years, so you don't get the plaque, but it's for the best. You actually start a blog. You're not internet famous, but you have over 1k twitter followers. Cool, right? Hey, remember how you were kind of a hipster in 2011? Of course you do. Well, that doesn't last. You're scene AF again. So scene, you work at Hot Topic HQ now. Talk about a lifelong dream. You go to a lot of shows, your Disneyland pass doesn't expire, you get more tattoos, more piercings, and you're actually...happy. Weird, right? Hang in there, kid. (PS. lay off the beer and don't dye your hair blonde). 

It's 2011 me, and Frank's letter.

Rock on.

Thoughts About Things & The August Playlist

Comparison is the thief of joy...

I had a really...uncomfortable thing after I published the Warped Tour post. I got a visit from the fraud police. You know the fraud police? The shitty voices that lie to you about everything you're not? "You're not a real writer. Why would anyone want to see your Warped photos? You're not a photographer. Why do you even have this blog? No one reads it. You should just stop." It was pretty bad. However, I sort of understand why. I've been a little guilty and a little upset with myself for slacking. 

I haven't been writing as much as I'd like to, or I feel I should. I started a new job (my dream job) at the end of May, and while adjusting to all the things that come with a (good) new job (new routine, new commute, new friends, new schedule, new professional goals), I also dove headfirst into a summer jam packed with festivals, conventions, vacations, nights out, etc. . I didn't even think about writing. Before last week I hadn't even journaled since late June. I was deep in a no writing slump, when my therapist asked me, "How come you haven't been writing?" I gasped and avoided and made excuses. There are other, less pretty, reasons why I haven't been writing. I was also pretty bummed (http://www.lambertraa.com/blog/2016/6/14/ugh-what-is-this-world). And then, the fucking fraud police and the thief of joy that is comparison. 

I honestly, started to feel like I wasn't cut out for blogging/youtubing/media making.  While I don't want to be a cookie cutter blogger (https://lambertraa.squarespace.com/config/pages/528d2ff4e4b06e6e83ecaa4d), I was really feeling like I wasn't good enough to be a blogger at all. I looked at other people's blogs and youtube channels and while I don't want to do what they're doing, I was envious they were doing it at all. My large Instagram and Twitter following weren't translating to blog views. I wasn't happy with the quality of my photos, the inconsistency with which I was posting, the lack of videography in my life; I felt stagnant and like it was my fault, because the talent wasn't there. And it was very easy to wrap myself up in my new corporate life and put that part of myself aside. Except when it wasn't. I am a creative, talented person. And if I don't feed that side of myself, then things get weird, and I become unhappy. Futhermore, this blog reaches about a thousand completely organic views a month, which might not sound like a large number, but I don't advertise AT ALL. I do all of this 100% on my own, in my living room. 

I'm ordering a new planner tomorrow, and a few blogging books. I want to set out a calendar and plan posts better. I've talked to some friends and am working on setting up some shoots for both scripted and unscripted content for my youtube channel. I even started working on my short story collection again. Losing your motivation is weird. Regaining it is an even weirder process. I re-read a few books that I love. I re-read my own work. I looked at my old lists and life plans. I was honestly re-motivated by my friends. One of my best friends recently graduated with her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, and also runs a kick ass lifestyle/beauty blog. One of my awesome co-workers sits next to me forty hours a week and is also a baker. The other runs and etsy shop, and her husband runs a record label outside of this full time job. Multiple friends of mine have finished full length albums while working more than one job. My oldest brother is a full time radio personality and is going back to school to finish college this fall. I had to remind myself, ARTISTS WORK 4O HOURS A WEEK. ARTISTS ARE ALSO LIKE ICEBERGS. Everyone sees the success, but no one sees the struggle. Issa Rae didn't up and get an HBO show out of thin air, she was making Awkward Black Girl on basically no budget five years ago. I, not only, can be 100% happy with my office job, but I can also be a great independent writer. In fact, I have to be both, because if I don't shit gets weird in my brain. When I was working at the fruit stand the idea was that art was the way out of the daily grind hustle, it never felt like it was possible to have both. When I finally found a job where I was happy; I thought maybe art could be pushed aside because I was finally happy at work. I have finally realized it's totally both and it's feels so much better. 

Well. This turned out way longer than I intended it to be. I guess you can consider it my apology to you and me for taking an extended summer break and not writing and shit. Two steps forward, two steps back. Life is a cha cha.

The next post is going to be one I've been thinking about for a while, and was pretty important to the inception of this blog.

Have a playlist. xo

-Jordan

The Vans Warped Tour 2016

Well. It's been just over a week since The Vans Warped Tour ended for the year and I'm feeling the post Warped Tour sads. [And I’m not the only one; http://www.altpress.com/features/entry/bands_react_to_the_end_of_Warped_Tour_2016] So, it's time for my yearly recap. Warped is one of my favorite things that happened every year and I'm so happy be living that part of my life again. 

This year was a little crazy. Pomona and San Diego weren't on different ends of the tour this year, they were both settled at the end of August two dates apart. I went to both (and squeezed in a Panic! at the Disco show in between. Yes, I am crazy. And tired.). I had a great time this year. Like, even better than last year. Like, I already miss it and wanna go back, but since I can’t I’m counting down the days until next year. It was fantastic. Kevin Lyman and the Warped crew decided this year needed to be simplified and have a return to form; all about the music. Fewer stages, no comedy tents, just good music. With that in mind, I’m going to try and just talk about music, and leave out all of the crazy personal hijinks I got into (I got into a lot of them. Shoutout to my homies Ruby, Brenda, Regina, and Darrel though. Love you guys!). 

I'm quite often a bit too ambitious when it comes to what I hope to get done at festivals, especially Warped. And the lineup this year was crazy good! Crazy good! 

Out of all of the bands playing, here’s who I hoped to see;; Atreyu, Broadside, Capsize?, Chelsea Grin*, Chunk! No, Captain Chunk, Crown the Empire*, Emarosa, Every Time I Die, Falling In Reverse, Four Year Strong, Ghost Town, I See Stars, Ice Nine Kills, In Hearts Wake*, Issues, Knuckle Puck, Less Than Jake*, Marina City?, Masked Intruder*, Mayday Parade, Mother Feather, Motionless In White, New Found Glory, Oceans At Alaska*, Old Wounds, Palaye Royale, Real Friends, Roam?, Set It Off, Sleeping With Sirens, State Champs, The Maine*, Tonight Alive*, Too Close To Touch, Vanna, Veil of Maya?, Wage War?, Waterparks, We The Kings?,Whitechapel?, With Confidence, Yellowcard, Young Guns* [my personal note taking key - *if there's time ? maaaaaaybe]

There was no way that was going to happen in one day. No way. But, I made a valiant effort. Here’s my final tally (I know there are things missing, because I spent a bunch of time just chilling at the Monster stage in Pomona).

San Diego; New Found Glory, Four Year Strong, Ice Nine Kills, Real Friends, Old Wounds, Masked Intruder, Yellowcard, State Champs, Palaye Royale, Vanna, The World Alive, I See Stars, Set It Off, ISSUES, Falling In Reverse, WATERPARKS, Motionless In White, Sleeping With Sirens 

My Pomona experience was a little wonky, because the entrance set up at this venue was incredibly disorganized. :/ The stages were also super close to each other and it was a little weird, but whatever.

Pomona; Sum 41, State Champs, Every Time I Die, Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!, Masked Intruder, Motionless In White, Omarosa, New Found Glory, Ice Nine Kills, Set It Off, Sleeping With Sirens, Volumes, Wake Flaka Flame, From Ashes to New, Issues

Overall; both days were great. However, San Diego had a better set up and it wasn’t as hot, so it was a bit more of an enjoyable experience. The bands were all on point this year. It was a week before the end of the tour, but no one was phoning it in. Every one put on a great set, hearts were it, the crowds were mostly really great. I met some super cute nice girls. It was nothing but positive vibes. I love being around other weird kids (or adults, because nothing like going to Warped at 28 to make you realize you’re not a fucking a teenager anymore). Throw in a Panic! concert in between both dates with some of my best girlfriends, and it was a weekend I will never fucking forget. (My phone died at Pomona half way through the day, and I'm having issues uploading videos. Lame, right? I'm going to try and cut something together later this week).  

Warped is over, and the summer is coming to a close, but that doesn't mean the scene is going into hibernation. There are some great tours/festivals coming around this fall. I have seen the majority of the bands listed below live, and if any of them were listed above, do not hesitate to go see them. They all put on one hell of a show.

Sleeping With Sirens, State Champs, Tonight Alive AND Waterparks (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/sleeping_with_sirens_announce_tour_with_state_champs_tonight_alive_waterpar) 

The Wonder Years, Real Friends, Knuckle Puck, Moose Blood, AND Seaway (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/the_wonder_years_real_friends_knuckle_puck_others_announce_tour)

Ice Nine Kills, Secrets, Sylar, Cover Your Tracks and Out Came The Wolves (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/ap_presents_ice_nine_kills_tour_with_secrets_sylar_cover_your_tracks_out_ca)

Blink-182, A Day to Remember, All Time Low, and All American Rejects (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/blink_182_announce_tour_with_a_day_to_remember_all_time_low_the_all_am)

Chain Fest (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/coheed_and_cambria_circa_survive_underoath_headline_first_ever_chain_fest)

Beach Goth (http://beachgothfest.com)

Beartooth, Every Time I Die, Fit For A King, AND Old Wounds (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/every_time_i_die_fit_for_a_king_old_wounds_touring_with_beartooth) 

Memphis May Fire, The Devil Wears Prada, Silverstein, Like Moths to Flames (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/the_devil_wears_prada_announce_tour_with_memphis_may_fire_silverstein_like) 

Simple Plan, Hit the Lights, and Story Untold (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/simple_plan_announce_tour_with_all_time_low_pvris) 

Pierce the Veil, Neck Deep, and I Prevail (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/pierce_the_veil_neck_deep_more_announce_tour) 

Good Charlotte, The Story So Far, Set Your Goals, Four Year Strong, Hit The Lights, and Big Jesus (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/good_charlotte_announce_tour_with_the_story_so_far_four_year_strong_others)

I Am Ghost (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/i_am_ghost_announce_reunion_show)

Axilla, Chelsea Grin, Immure, and Sylar (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/chelsea_grin_emmure_sylar_touring_with_attila) 

Asking Alexandria, I See Stars, Born of Osiris (http://www.altpress.com/news/entry/asking_alexandria_i_see_stars_born_of_osiris_others_announced_for_sumerian)

I miss seeing posts about Warped all over my social media every day. I wish I was back in the sun seeing my favorite bands and crying to my favorite songs. But, there's always next year!

I'm including my personal get pumped for Warped playlist.

Be back soon with more! We've got the August playlist coming, some more of my "words of wisdom", and quite possibly a vlog...maybe. Remember to follow me on social media, it's a more real time experience of what's up in my life (unless you are related to me - then stay FAR FAR away from my twitter). 

changing and growing always. xo. jordan.  

SDCC2016

Well, San Diego Comic Con ended just over a week ago and here I am now, back to real life, and ready with my annual SDCC wrap up. 2016 felt like I great follow up to 2015; fandom was back and comics reigned large and in charge. Last year I thought the con had refocused on general nerd themes; comic characters, fantasy and sci-fi in whatever form of media they take on, and that held true this year. The only caveat being; a lot of the larger properties are winding down/ending their run and most of the newer properties haven't found their voice/spot as one of the big ones. So, it was a quieter year - - 2012 was kinda like that.

If you're new here; let me do a quick bit of explaining. I have the best group of nerdy girl friends in the world and San Diego Comic Con is our yearly girls getaway trip. Sirose, Nicole, Kirsten, and I were joined by Katherine (remember her guest appearances from last year?), and our good friend and new convention attendee, Bethany. This year was #leslieknopecon2016 because we did nothing but celebrate strong female frienships and how much we adore each other. My life would be so different without these beautiful angel dolphins and I can't thank them enough for being my girls.

ANYWAY.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT PREVIEW NIGHT

Because our group was so large and spread out over Los Angeles county (and because of a cosplay emergency), we decided taking two cars was the best way to travel. Bethany and I departed together (because we live five minutes from each other). We enjoyed multiple Starbucks stops, Snapchatting ourselves singing Mindless Self Indulgence, and crappy ass traffic. We left LA at about 1:00 and didn't get to San Diego until about 4:15, and second to arrive. We met up with our girls in the parking lot of our hotel. We stayed at the San Diego Mission Marriot (where I actually stayed last year for Warped Tour). After unpacking, blowing up air mattresses, and several hugs, giving of gifts, and telling each other how pretty we all were, we got dressed and headed down to Preview Night. Bethany and Katherine had Preview Night badges, so they braved the Convention Hall floor, while the rest of us scoped out outdoor activities and ate out fill of sushi. Shoutout to Taka Sushi for reasonable prices and good portion sizes. We headed back to the hotel relatively early, prepared for Thursday and, got a decent night's sleep.

THURSDAY

We woke up early as possible, got dolled up, and headed out to wait in line for the Game of Thrones experience. This line. This damned line. We were in line between 9:45 and 10:15 and the line was already around the frigging block. People lined up at 6:00am. We split up; Katherine and Bethany to patrol the con floor, the rest of us in line. KD has the awesome idea to order Starbucks through the app and pick it up, so I did that and boy was it a good idea, because the line was Starbucks was also around the block. Oh, SDCC, never change. We tried to be as fair to each other as possible, and not leave each other stranded in line. Which, we kinda failed at at one point, because myself, Nicole, Bethany, and KD went to the Star Trek experience to see their new Mac collection and ended getting our faces BEAT by some Mac technicians. This Star Trek line is EVERYTHING. Make sure you get on it next month. By 3:00ish, we finally entered the GoT ecperience! Our main goal was pictures on the Iron Throne, which happened and we all looked FANTASTIC. THANK YOU, SIROSE FOR BEING OUR FIERCE, FABULOUS PHOTOGRAPHER. The rest of the experiencve wasn't as good as last year? Idk, I think I'm just bitter because there was no free shirt. We left GoT and were ready to partake in one of our favorite traditions, lunch at Dick's Last Resort. Only, Dick's Last Resort was closed for the weekend and had been turned into an Impractical Jokers experience. Needless to say, we were NOT HAPPY. We ended up at Old Spaghetti Factory, which is great, but they don't have veggie burgers. KD, Nicole, and I decided to hit the con floor, while the other girls went back to the hotel.

Let's talk about the Exhibitor Hall for a second.

It was really good this year, right?? The American Gods experience at Starz! The Stoop at Nickelodeon! The enamel pin trading at Marvel! The Comic Con exclusives at Tsum Tsum! I was way into it. Did anyone else notice that this year was way more focused on "experiences" and not swag?

We did a few laps around the Exhibitors Hall. I ran into two very good friends and former co-workers Dominic and Kamron, and we chatted about life and the excitement and craziness that is SDCC. We headed back to our hotel room, met up with the other girl, poured a few drink, enjoyed some snacks, ordered Carne Asada Fries that actually had fries this year, sang along to a great playlist of our late 90s and early 00s favorites, until our neighbors knocked on the door and we all got scared and basically went to bed.

FRIDAY

Friday was another day full of excitement and craziness. Nicole and Bethany did an adorable Daria cosplay, and left early with KD to score some con exclusives. I went out to enjoy some of the outdoor activities, while Sirose caught some panels, and Katherine did an awesome Silk cosplay.

The outdoor events. Hmmmm... We never actually made it over to PetCo Park for Nerd HQ, partially because there wasn't much last year. The events in the parking lot by PetCo were really lackluster this year and there wasn't a Totino's truck. :( However, the Southpark celebration was totally rad! I spent a nice part of the morning in the Hulu/Southpark lounge, because it was air conditioned and who doesn't love a few episodes of Southpark? This Comic Con was the hottest Comic Con I've ever experienced and I did not appreciate it. Not even a little bit.

We met up for lunch, and goddamnit, Dick's was still closed!! We ended up at a Mexican cantina in the Gaslamp, which was actually really good, and they had drink specials. While waiting for lunch, I ran into a really good friend and sorority sister, Keiki, who invited us to a party (and it turns out Katherine was already planning on going to said party). A few of us went back to the room to freshen up, I thought I took a secret nap, but it turns out my friends totally knew I was asleep and then we headed out for the Mission: Comic Con party.

I'd never been to a post Comic-Con party and thought I'd been missing something. Well...a party is a party. It was great! But, it was kinda like going out in LA on a weekend, only with more costumes. Because Keiki's company was hosting the event she was able to score us a VIP table (until the Power Rangers showed up, because the table actually belonged to them). We had a few drinks, we met a few creepy guys, we played some Pokemon Go, and then we headed home. We also had another girl walk to the shuttle with us, as we held hands, because no one gets left behind and it's not safe to go alone.

(Sidenote: We hung out with Nicole's boyfriend Jeff a bunch, and we're all super proud of him because he was nominated for an Eisner and plus, because he's one half of the cutest couple ever).

We headed to bed early, because Saturday was going to be a BIG day.

SATURDAY

So. There's a lot I don't remember about Saturday, because it went by in a BLUR. It was our cosplay day!!!

We'd been planning, and then not planning, and totally planning this cosplay for a little under a year, we thought it up last year and thought it would be great for us...we were the Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask!

Upsides; we had so much fun and were all the cutest ever, and got AMAZING photos care of Strawberry Avalanche photography.

Downside; people can be really really rude to cosplayers.

We literally could not walk two feet without being mobbed and having out photo taken. A lot of times people didn't ask. And the few times we denied requests or just to rush past, because were thirsty/hungry/hot, people were not very respectful of our needs as humans.

BE NICE TO COSPLAYERS.

ANYWAY. Basically, all we did that day was take pictures, but we were the cutest, so it was worth it. (I also ran into two of my new co-workers and homies, Brandi and Kelsie, who also had some awesome cosplay going). We split up, so we could leave peacefully, and get food. It was Thai food night. We feasted on Thai food, hung out at our hotel pool, had some drinks (my Snapchat story was out of control that night), ordered pizza, and finally passed out.

SUNDAY

We rose early on Sunday so we could pack up the hotel room. It was definitely a struggle, but we definitely made it happen. After that we had to go through our next tradition; Irish breakfast at Dublin Square! We all enjoyed a hearty Irish meal, adult breakfast beverages, and selfies. We split up to our last minute shopping, con floor activities, and planned to meet up at the Adult Swim on the Green. We retracted that plan, however. Once KD, Bethany, and I got there, we found out the green was kinda lame this year. So, we packed it in and headed to our last stop and our final end of SDCC tradition, buritos from Lucha Libre. Our two cars met at the taco shop, picked up our food, and headed to what the GPS said was a park, but was actually a residential area. So, we ate our buritos on the sidewalk, said our fond and sad goodbyes, and headed home. Bethany and I made it back in about 3 hours, which isn't bad for post Comic Con traffic.

Now, to the media. I've broken it down into three easy catergories, Yay! (Stuff I'm super stoked on and can't wait for more of), No! (Things that I'm not exicted about), and Huh? (Stuff that I don't know how to feel about.

Yay!

Suicide Squad, Justice League, Wonder Woman;; the footage from these movies looks good so far and I'm cautiously optimistic that DCCU has learned from Batman vs. Superman 

Legion;; This show looks really good and I'm excited for X-Men media that isn't related to the Fox films, although nothing will top the Fox cartoon. 

American Gods;; I love Neil Caiman and I'm so here for this. 

Game of Thrones;; SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN IN WESTEROA

Once Upon a Time;; I don't know how I feel about this show right now. Especially all they've done to Regina and how they have a habit of killing off/ignoring my favorite characters, but this past season had some high notes (particularly Ruby/Dorothy), so we'll see. I'm happy they're ditching the season 6a/6b format this year. 

Steven Universe - OH MAN. This panel was amazing, even if nothing was revealed. I can't gush enough about this show and the way it handles nuanced subjects, built a world, the artwork and voice acting, the detailed storytelling. I just wish Cartoon Network would give it a more regular release schedule. 

Luke Cage - While I was ambivalent about Daredevil, I LOVED Jessica Jones. The trailer for this was great, so I'll be watching. 

Captain Marvel - I've loved Brie Larson since United States of Tara. Couldn't be more hyped for this. 

Flash - pretty excited to see how they handle the Flashpoint story. 

Star Trek: Discovery - new Star Trek. What's not to love?! 

King Arthur by Guy Ritchie - I don't think the masses will like this, but I'm all about it. 

Flatliners Sequel - KEIFER. SUTHERLAND. that is all. 

New Comics I'll Be Looking At - Backstagers, Kim and Kim, Spell on Wheels, Pink Ranger, Betty and Veronica

No!

Dr. Strange - Tilda Swintin eeallly turns me off in this movie. 

Tower of Terror goes Guardians of the Galaxy - I'm annual pass holder and a lifelong lover of Disney and The Twilight Zone. I basically cried when they announced this ride was coming to California. I'm really upset about this. 

Huh?

Kong: Skull Island - What is this? I don't get it. 

Gotham - This show. I can't even. 

American Horror Story - We know nothing about this next season and idk if that's good or bad. Plus, I really don't like Ryan Murphy. 

And that's it for this year, folks! I'll be back to the blog in a week or two, and I'm not sure what my next con is. I have to sit out ScareLA this year :( and I haven't made a ton of plans for the fall into next year, yet.  

Xo